I need the sun. I need the heat. Also….. I need a vacation.
After work on Thursday I went to Palm Beach Tan in Fort Union with my friend “Ute’s Girl”. We heard the ads on the radio and decided to go.
When we 1st walked in, it was a lot to take in. All the girls looked like personal trainers. Very fit, pretty, tan and full of enthusiasm. With me already having a headache, right from the get go this was just too much.
So with my fake smile and hopes to get into a bed soon, we did the tour of the joint. She started off showing us the “Bentley” of tan beds. This thing had all the bells and whistles that you would want, plus some. After our causal chit-chat and tour, then came the sales pitch. With my “Shields up Scotty” and using all my strength not to eye roll, I stood next to Ute’s Girl and listened.
Now I’m not a huge tanner. I had stated this within 1 minute of our tour. Now Ute’s Girl said she use to tan allot and wanted a little tan before she goes off to Hawaii next Tuesday. So with this info just given to the rep, she proceeded to tell us about their packages. “Free 2 weeks”, “unlimited”, “$10 dollars off”. What I heard after all the AWESOME bonuses was”$20 one time signup fee”, “Prorated”, “cheap @ 29.95 a month”, “Can cancel anytime”.
So that’s all great if you are a regular tanner and wanting skin cancer at a super young age. For me I just wanted to relax. Oddly enough, lying in a tanning bed does that for me. So I said no to the lowest package and then they said they could create a personal package that was for 6 tans in 6 months. Now that’s sounds great, however I had told them 3 times already that I’m a sporadic tanner. The last time I had been tanning was over 2 years ago and that was only 2 maybe 3 times. So it seems like a waste of money, plus that would cost a $20 setup fee.
For Ute’s Girl the lowest package worked for what she wanted and luckily enough she got to use the Bentley bed for 20 minutes. I unfortunately got the Ford Fiesta model and 7 minutes of anxiety.
While I sat in the waiting room; they still tried to sale me on their damn packages. No means no ladies. Really people, can’t a pale girl sit alone with her headache in the corner? With an “I’ll think about it, but not really” remark, I FINALLY got some peace.
Moments later Ute’s Girl came out looking relaxed, refreshed and TAN. G-D damn it, that should’ve been me too.
With our Coach bags in hand we headed out the door and went right to Sweet Tooth Fairy. Now an amazing thing happened when we walked in……I was happy again! My headache was gone, Ute’s Girl didn’t look sooooo tan (actually, I was fooling myself on this one) and the smell is how I imagine heaven.
We got cakeshakes and ½ a dozen of cupcakes to take to our families. I had a great time just hanging out and talking about anything and everything.
Thanks for a fun 2nd date Ute’s Girl!! I think on the 3rd someone has to put out or at least show some boob. 
For yummy sweets & cavities, check out:
http://www.thesweettoothfairy.com/
If you are looking for a tan PACKAGE:
Knocking on heavens door
Key Lime, Irish Cream, Raspberry Lemonade, Grasshopper, Carrot, Chai, Red Velvet, German, Coconut
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