Shit Mary Says
He’s like a pocket Asian.
Yep, still works.
I’d love to take this opportunity to remind everyone (Mary) that she and I are the SAME HEIGHT!!
Also, SMS Update:
“I’m calling! I’m fingering! I fingered!”
Amber’s gonna pitch a tent!!
Today, I was obsessed with these (my boobs), I don’t know what was going on today.
You see that wetness right there? That’s from you!!
Ooh. I hate it when one is tight and one is loosey goosey!!
oooh noooooooooo, my carrot went all limpy
and THEN
she proceeded to smack me with said floppy carrot
Oh no! I have a pool of wetness… Liquid… Drizzle… On my chest!!
I like to dip my bags and then put them in my mouth and suck on them.
Mary has been stealing the spotlight lately, so I think it’s time to post some SMS Updates.
These were from a BBQ we had a few weeks ago..
“Oh.. you missed my Dirty Sanchez.. I washed it off..”
“It’s like a nipple.. you’re just playing with it!!”
“Also……. grab the camera that’s on the crabs..”
“I’ve got this crusty white stuff in my hair!!”
“Oh No!! Is it not coming out?” ”Oh no, Mary, it’s stuck in there..”
“I almost choked on your meat it was SO big!!”
“It was super sweaty cuz we had been doing it for a few hours…”
… And then a few days later….
“And then he mowed my OTHER lawn….”
“I wasn’t talking about my Taco, I was talking about my Carpet!”
mary just said……to her BOSS while in the bathroom
‘i am going to get you weeeeeeeeeeeeeeet’
“i was distracted by your muscles, and then your hole, and then your white stuff”